"You Say You Want a Resolution..."

Annual Conference is over…

Real joy in my heart as I return to Strawbridge!

Among the things Conference does is give me a chance to review the year past and renew commitments for the coming months: commitments in ministry, commitments with family in mind, personal commitments,…

It may not be totally safe to share in this kind of forum. Still, in a Wesleyan kind of way, I need some accountability partners. And so, I share…

• I want and need to rekindle my devotional life… Things are stale and I earnestly seek freshness in my daily time with Him… in a rhythm that has Him woven throughout my day!

• I want and need to rekindle my life as a father and a husband… It’s not that things are terrible, but, like my devotional life, I know there’s greater freshness and joy and meaningful intimacy to be found and claimed.

• I want and need to settle down in my work here at church… Oh, not kick back and loaf. But, recognize that there’s enough on the platter. That, as much as we need to do anything new right now, we need to engage the programs and needs (and new initiatives) at hand… and find time to enjoy each other throughout it all!

• I want and need to take better care of my physical being… I drink too much coffee and coke. I do not exercise like I should. I am careless in my eating and snacking. I am 30+ pounds overweight (with a whole wardrobe hanging there, unused in my closet)!!!! All in all, it has my short of breath too easily… and sweating like a pig!

• I want and need to be a better friend and brother and uncle… I want to reach out to folks better and be there for them and learn more deeply what it is to love – love with His love!

• I want and need humility. I want to harness that “want” in me which seeks attention. I don’t always have to talk. I don’t always have to go for the joke or the laugh to draw attention to myself. I need to learn the art of silence… and really listening to the other – including the Other which is God!

And amidst it all, I want and need you, out there – friends, family, brothers and sisters in the Faith… I need and want you all to pray for me… and even hold my feet to the fire. I need your encouragement. I need you to question me – when, say, I reach for that second cup of coke. I need you to know that I want to be better – better for myself, better for you, better for God. I need and want you to be patient with me… and accept me when I fail.

I need and want balance in this walk… and I need and want Companions on these tight rope journeys called life and Christianity!

Joy Journal

In my 13 years of post-high school schooling, two papers particularly stand out in my memory. Both achieved marks of “D.” Both were tremendously helpful as learning devices.

The first paper (not a real focus here) was in Freshman English at A & M. Perhaps its biggest lesson was emotional or spiritual: a certain humbling of the boy who thought he knew it all. Yes, I learned to write (or, at least, advance in writing) that first semester of college English!

The second paper (more of a focus here) taught me a lesson about and the meaning of being “critical.” A “critical review” of a book in Christian History book at seminary had me tearing the book apart for all its weaknesses… and the flaws I saw. Isn’t that the nature of being critical after all?! You know, like criticism?!

Problem is, I soon learned (with “D” in hand), that “critical” (at least in “critical review”) implies a balanced effort to analyze weaknesses, yes, but also to affirm strengths!

It’s a lesson that has had meaning throughout the years – even unto today: the importance of seeing not just the “original sin” in the world but also the “original goodness,” as well!

It’s the basis of encouraging staff around the church to keep a joy journal – a daily catalog of all that is good and right and “worthy of praise” in our lives and world… a counterbalance to all the stresses and negatives that can come our way (because we do live in a fallen world).

Admittedly, I waver and wane on this discipline (as I do with most of my spiritual disciplines). In the wake of the last blog, though ( a blog which I continue to struggle with… but, for whatever reasons, do not want to erase),… In the wake of the last blog, I feel inclined to count my blessings. (It’s got to be a great concept! I mean, it’s not only a great hymn but there’s Bing singing about it in “White Christmas!”)

And so, just to get the ball rolling on this Monday morning and this new week, I take a minute or two to recall my blessings and joys in life…

1. a loving wife and companion
2. healthy children who are going through the normal throes of trying to figure out who they are
3. the means and the place in which to finally get a home
4. my health (though I need help here!)
5. a very loving congregation… and a committed core of church leaders
6. a “livable forest” which, in so many ways… at so many turns, has me feeling God’s presence
7. a call and a reason and a vision and a purpose in life
8. good (and meaningful) books and movies
9. a very loving extended family… I know that they’ll always be there for me!
10. a string of very dear friends which span the years and the communities in which we’ve lived – friends as dear and as close as family
11. a devoted companion in Toby (the wonder dog)!

Yes, it’s only a start. But, it’s enough to get me on the right path!

For it’s true: if you’re going to “make the grade” in life and living, you’ve got to learn the art of looking at both sides!

"Contra Church-Hopping"... or "Church Membership and Community as a Means of Grace (i.e., a Means of Transformation)"

I'm sorry I haven't maintain this blog too well of late. Over a month since my last post!

It's not for lack of things to write... and feelings to engage. In fact, it's the strength of feelings that has held me back -- making me wonder if I really want to put myself out there. Will folks be able to take it... and accept that I can have such feelings?

Still, I seek transparency. I seek to be a "disciple out of control." And that, plus the acknowledgement that this blog has limited circulation, has me willing to journal here, now.

At the heart of my feelings (that is, at the heart of my heart) is a strong sense of sadness about and disappointment in Church members who have packed up (and here, I must say, it spans the years... and is not just a Strawbridge thing!) and left. And, more specifically, it's their stated reasons for leaving.

It's not that leaving a Church is unforgivable... or that there might not be reasons for so leaving and connecting with another fellowship. (I suggested such in a letter to the congregation in December -- announcing an adjustment in our Sunday morning schedule: "ponder just what are the Biblical grounds for separating one’s self from a community or congregation… [Tolerated immorality {especially among shepherds/leaders}: yes, that just cause! The preaching or teaching of heresies: yes, that’s just cause!] Without wanting to put a false guilt trip on anyone(which would be spiritually abusive), I feel that the question needs to be raised nonetheless: “would/will your reason(s) for leaving the congregation on the basis of an adjusted Sunday morning schedule stand up in the presence of Jesus and eternity?”) Yes, very legitimate reasons exist for leaving one community and joining another! And, yes, very legitimate reasons exist for staying with a community -- even when they don't do things your way!

My frustration, as I've already shared, is with the stated reasons for leaving which I have heard from too many across time... and the reasons I still hear for leaving community. (Please, be advised: these lines cut across my years in ministry. Anyone reading this should be warned against assigning any of these lines to a given place, time, or person!)

• "11:00 is the Traditional Worship hour in America!" (where traditional here means "traditional" worship)

• "I can't get up at 8:30!" (understandable from many elderly souls... the problem with this line was that it came from a soul who was able to go on a 2-week overseas tour [shortly after saying this] -- a tour that had a rigorous morning schedule for those 14 days!)

• "the youth make too much noise in their classes and disturb us... and don't dress up for church... and don't seem to respect my ways or the things I think they should!" (sounds like something Jesus sure would have spit out of his mouth!)

• "I never thought it would mean this!" (the words of one soul who told me, "something needs to happen and we'll support you and the church no matter what"... and then left when the "no matter what" demanded adjustments on their part)

• "if the men of this church start cutting the yard, I'm out of here" or, another time, "if we start charging for donuts, I'm out of here!" (lines I heard at one church when we were considering some of the things we might do to balance the budget... again, donuts and a manicured lawn: the kind of things Jesus died for!)

I guess you can hear that I'm battling some strong feelings here. I surely want to avoid self-righteousness and attending judgmentalism. Still, with these acknowledgements and their attending prayers, I remain very frustrated and disturbed! I find it extremely hard to embrace these excuses in the light of Jesus and the Cross and the Gospel. Here, I affirm that the importance of Christian community is not that it conforms to us (and our tastes) but that it is a vehicle through which Christ works to conform us to Him. (And, as there's more to conform to, perhaps there's the potential for greater Christ-likeness!)

Truly, I am saddened that people leave the church. And, even sadder for the [empty] reasons they can articulate for leaving a local congregation. But, then, maybe here's hope and consolation (and here I must watch out again, lest I deceive myself): that when some leave a church/congregation for the wrong reasons, there's greater hope for the Church (capital C). For when there's less people consumed with donuts and the churchyard and worship times and attire and having it their way, there's more room for Christ and a singular focus on Him and His way!

Dear God, for all these attitudes -- theirs... and mine:

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy!