Psalms (R & R Reflections #4)

Again, the tyranny of the urgent has displaced me from my journaling.

Not lacking, though, are the ways I continue to feed off of my Summer Benedictine Experience.

The Psalms, for example, continue to be a most important part and center of my prayer life. It’s a center grounded in Benedict’s Rule and the daily rhythm of Benedictine devotion.

“But, why the Psalms? Why should this mixed bag of emotions – some very base and ungodly… Why, should these form a nucleus for our prayer life? Maybe they could dance at the periphery, but why these prayers at the center of our devotional life?” (Benedictines, you see, will engage all 150 Psalms in the course of a week. Some Coptic communities in Egypt engage all 150 every day!) The question of why the Psalms are given such primacy was a real question before us during my Summer Experience.

While I have only begun to really dance with the Psalms (and, even then, it’s an erratic dance), I can nonetheless affirm their value and importance…

1) On a general level, there’s the way that the Psalms turn my mind toward a God who is over all creation… and a creation that contains a radical mix of beauty and corruption. (Especially is this needful, when so many of our prayers are about “me” and “my” little world.)

2) And then there’s the mix of Psalms and the breadth of emotions and realities they represent:

• “Cursing” Psalms which help me identify with the poor and oppressed (and even have me asking myself, “Am I a part of the oppression?”… or, more precisely, “In what ways am I a part of the oppression?”)

• Psalms of Confession, Lament and Contrition help me to bow before the Eternal and acknowledge that it’s not about me and that God’s holiness demands that I not get overly nonchalant or complacent in His presence.

• Psalms extolling Zion and Jerusalem make me homesick for the “New Jerusalem” to come.

• Psalms of Deliverance have me affirming the “spiritual warfare” embedded in this earthy existence… even as they have me affirming my total dependence on God and Grace for “victory.”

• Psalms of “Coronation” invite me to enthrone God as Lord of life and living.

Father Richard Rohr has a book entitled, Everything Belongs. It’s an affirmation of the contemplative spirit: that all things in life, when given enough attention, “preach.” It’s a title that conveys much of my feelings and reverence for the Psalms. “Everything belongs”: the praise and confession, the curse and the praise,… God accepts all our prayer-feelings… and all these feelings can point us to God and His life.

“Why the Psalms at the center of devotion?” In light of my own experience, the question or questions that emerge are: “Why not the Psalms?” and “What else, if not the Psalms?”

"Stop, Look, and Listen!" (R&R Reflection #3)

Among the things that came easiest to me during my "Benedictine Experience" (in spite of what a lot of folks thought when they heard about it) was taking and keeping a vow of silence.

Part of it’s ease comes from my being an introvert. Yes, I know, it’s hard for many to believe. “You get up there every Sunday and preach!,” they’ll tell – something, I guess, that puts me up there with dancing with a lamp shade on my head. My understanding of introversion and extroversion is informed, though, not by what I do in public but by how I “recharge” when I am done. Extroverts, I was taught in seminary, recharge their drained batteries by being with people… while introverts recharge their batteries by being alone. At the end of a long, hard week, you see, I find myself enjoying silence and solitude.

Used to be I felt guilty about this: I mean, a pastor should just want to be with people, shouldn’t he (or she)? Then, I remembered that Jesus often found a lonely place apart. It’s helped me to accept the way I am wired.

Of course, opposites attract. Kathy, you see, in an extrovert. Not so surprisingly, we can go to the same family reunion and Kathy can say “boy, when can we do that again!” while I am sighing under my breath, “I sure am glad we got that over with!” It’s something I have to be mindful of as Friday approaches. What’s good for the goose is not necessary what the gander needs!

Anyway, back to the vow of silence…

Yes, in some ways it came naturally to this introvert. In still other ways, it was refreshing – freeing me to look and listen to “life”… and helping me to form thoughts that really might be sharing. I’m mindful of Henri Nouwen, analyzing the downside of what he calls “our wordy world”:

"There was a time not too long ago without radios and televisions, stop signs, yield signs, merge signs, bumper stickers, and the ever-present announcements indicating price increases or special sales. There was a time without the advertisements which now cover whole cities with words. Recently I was driving through Los Angeles, and suddenly I had the strange sensation of driving through a huge dictionary. Wherever I looked there were words trying to take my eyes from the road. They said, ‘Use me, take me, buy me, drink me, smell me, touch me, kiss me, sleep with me.’ In such a world who can maintain respect for words?" (The Way of the Heart)

I’m mindful, as well, of what Dad used to say: “God’s given us two eyes, two ears, and one mouth… maybe it’s His way of saying we ought to look and listen twice as much as we talk!”

Of course, the “vow” does not eliminate all talk. There was “spiritual direction” and time for “sacred readings” during mealtime and points at which we could ask questions as we engage topics related to “Benedictine Spirituality.” Far from being a call to complete silence, then, the “vow” was a commitment to meaningful words.

And, as I moved forward (even until today), I find myself wanting to talk less… and listen and look better.

St. Benedict and his followers remind us that there’s plenty of wisdom in the old words at the railroad crossing – wisdom that goes well beyond our physical being, wisdom that penetrates to our best as spiritual and social beings: “Stop, look, and listen!”

The Gospel According to Chocolat

In our current "Power of Holy Habits" sermon series (on the "Means of Grace" as "Means of Intimacy with God"), I struggled for a handle which would help us to get in touch with the spirit (or Spirit?) of Holy Communion. There was a handout with all sort of heady guides and instructions, but now, as we approached the table, I wanted our hearts engaged.

Of course, my heart and mind were drawn to the movies -- my "art" of choice. First to mind was "Babbett's Feast," a beautiful and powerful foriegn film about a woman who cashes it all in to spread a feast in the midst of a community of religious legalists. The meal is liberating for all!

Subtitles a burden... and other things hard to condense into a timely video, my mind turned to a kindred (and more recent... and more managable) film in Chocolat:

It's the story of a fresh wind blowing in a stagnant village.

It's the story of a new spirit coming to a villaged seeped and trapped in legalism -- a spirit who seeks their freedom.

In the face of defiance, this liberator throws a feast -- eating with sinners and seeking their release from captivity.

And, on the other side? There's dancing and rejoicing and hugging and reconciliation.

I took liberty to make the legalist scenes and characters black and white, I admitted to the 11 o'clock crowd. It was my way of making a point about legalistic existence. Don't know if I tampered too much or not. However, if you'll allow me that freedom, I'd ask you to ride with the "poetry": namely, the Gospel at the heart of Holy Communion seeks to free us from our black and white existence... and release us in to a full color existence!

I hope you enjoy this montage video as much as I enjoy my attempts at being an artist through video media...

"Bowing to Icons???!!!!" (R & R Reflections, 2)

In my last post, I shared my appreciation for the bows we brought to God and each other in our prayers throughout the day – with our “bows to God” being especially focused toward the icon at the front of the oratory (or worship center). Understanding the nature and symbolism of icons (especially from, say, a Greek Orthodox background) helped me tremendously to see and appreciate what, exactly, we were bowing to in the icon above.

• John the Baptist (standing to the right): understood as the last “Old Testament” figure, with words of the prophet on his lips and expectations of the Messiah (foretold and foreshadowed in the Old) in his heart

• Mary (standing to the left): the first person to accept Christ into her life and, therefore, the first of Christian believers

• Note that both John and Mary face Christ – conveying and emphasizing that is in Christ that the Old and New meet.

• The enthroned Christ (a throne, not so surprisingly, like Emperor Constantine’s arched throne) rests his feet on footstool – its corners reflecting the four corners of the universe… Jesus is Lord of all. (Note how Christ, even when seated, is as big as John and Mary. Clearly, he’s not only central but bigger than them both!)

• Note the significance of colors and the message of colors in the icon. Blue is the color of divinity, red humanity, gold and white the glory and the light of God. The white areas or lines on the flesh and clothing represent the transfigured light of Christ. Accordingly: Christ is part and emerges out of the glory and light of God, Christ is divine and puts on humanity, Mary (representing all of us) is human and takes on divinity,…

• In Christ’s halo are the Greek letters which comprise the word “ego” or “I am.” That it is in the circle of the halo speaks of repetition. Reminiscent of God’s words to Moses: Christ is the eternal “I am”: “I am what I am” and “I will be what I will be.”
  

• Christ holds the Bible, the Word open with his left hand. Not so surprisingly, the text is from John 14:6: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” His right hand is held up in blessing. Hard to see in the icon above (but clear in the inset from another icon) are two fingers held up (conveying the two natures of Christ, human and divine) and the other three fingers coming together (signifying the trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit).

It was clear to me… and it should be clear, I believe, to the open-minded and open-hearted among us and around us: that our bowing in front of the icon on our way into the worship was not any king of idolatry but a real gesture of reverence for the Lord of all Creation (to which the icon points, to which the icon is a window). In much the same way, when I put my cross necklace on in the morning, I do not see my kissing it as a worship of the metal or even the cross as much as a way of kissing Christ.

The story was told, in fact, during our time apart of a woman who could not understand why her father would kiss a bedside picture of her departed mother each night before he went to sleep. Upon hearing and unpacking some of the meanings of the icon and the real grounds for bowing, it became clear: the old man was not kissing a picture as much as he was kissing his beloved goodnight.

My Jesus, my Saviour

Lord there is none like You

All of my days, I want to praise

The wonders of Your mighty love

My comfort, my shelter

Tower of refuge and strength

Let every breath, all that I am

Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord

All the earth let us sing

Power and majesty

Praise to the King

Mountains bow down

And the seas will roar

At the sound of Your name

I sing for joy

At the work of Your hands

Forever I’ll love You

Forever I’ll stand

Nothing compares to the promise

I have in You

"Take a Bow!" (Reflections from R & R, 1)

Returning from a most meaningful time of rest and re-creation – perhaps the most meaningful I have had in recent memory. There was time for personal retreat and renewal – participating for the better part of a week in a “Benedictine Experience” in Dallas. There was real time to work and sweat – with downtime to read and pray – here around the house as we set up home. (I’d say we are 95% of the way done: cars are in the garage, only a half dozen boxes sitting in a closet [where they can stay], ceiling fans hung,… Really, only some pictures to hang!) And, then, there was participation in a “Day of Wellness” for clergy at Methodist Hospital. Yes, there could have been a few more day trips sprinkled in – and seeing friends out and around. Still, though, it was most meaningful time of “Sabbath.”

So meaningful, in fact, that I thought I’d take a few postings to process… and to share reflections and insights and gleanings from this time apart.

I begin with (and probably have the most to share from) the “Benedictine Experience” in Dallas at the end of June. It’s designed as an opportunity for the those so interested (lay and clergy… across denominational lines) to get a taste of living the life and prayer rhythm of a monastic lifestyle -- with lectures sprinkled in on Benedictine Spirituality (i.e., Spirituality and Theology and Devotional Rhythm emanating from the ancient Rule of St. Benedict). It’s long been an interest of mine. (See previous posts.) Truly, it was a refreshing experience that opened my mind and heart to alternative ways of prayer and devotion and living.

A quite simple and innocent gesture is among the first things I’d elevate and reflect upon: coming into the Oratory (i.e., the worship center) and bowing – bowing to an icon reflective of the Christ in our midst… and, before taking our seats, bowing to others in the room. No, we were not bowing to the icon but bowing to the Lord and Savior it conveyed – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit behind it. And the bow we made to one another? It was simply a way, with our bodies, of affirming the sacredness of the others in the room – the reality that Christ is in our neighbor.

I know that we Protestants can misunderstand and misjudge our Catholic brothers and sisters as they employ their holy water and genuflections and do their signs of the cross. (I am relieved that our misunderstandings and especially our judgments are not as pronounced as they used to be!) Refreshing for me, though, was the way that my body was a part of my spirit in the Worship and Devotion: bowing had me truly feeling that I was in the presence of the Holy – truly in the presence of a Lord and King who was more than worthy of a bow. And bowing to my neighbor had me truly feeling a more profound sense of the sacredness and worth of the other. In a way, the bowing of morning, noon, evening and night prayer times had me “bowing” throughout the day – well beyond the worship center. I found myself walking with a much more contrite heart throughout the “sanctuary” of the day and our retreat facilities.

So, take a bow! Trace a sign of the cross over mind and heart and soul! Let your fingers touch the sacred and mysterious waters of life and baptism! And, amidst it all, ask your self if it does not find – in this cooperation, this convergence of body and action and soul and creed – a certain heightening of devotion and reverence in your deeper spirit and soul!

We bow down,

We cast our crowns

At the feet of Jesus.

The greatness of

His mercy and love...

at the feet of Jesus

And we cry holy, holy, holy,

Holy, holy, holy…

is the Lamb.

"You Say You Want a Resolution..."

Annual Conference is over…

Real joy in my heart as I return to Strawbridge!

Among the things Conference does is give me a chance to review the year past and renew commitments for the coming months: commitments in ministry, commitments with family in mind, personal commitments,…

It may not be totally safe to share in this kind of forum. Still, in a Wesleyan kind of way, I need some accountability partners. And so, I share…

• I want and need to rekindle my devotional life… Things are stale and I earnestly seek freshness in my daily time with Him… in a rhythm that has Him woven throughout my day!

• I want and need to rekindle my life as a father and a husband… It’s not that things are terrible, but, like my devotional life, I know there’s greater freshness and joy and meaningful intimacy to be found and claimed.

• I want and need to settle down in my work here at church… Oh, not kick back and loaf. But, recognize that there’s enough on the platter. That, as much as we need to do anything new right now, we need to engage the programs and needs (and new initiatives) at hand… and find time to enjoy each other throughout it all!

• I want and need to take better care of my physical being… I drink too much coffee and coke. I do not exercise like I should. I am careless in my eating and snacking. I am 30+ pounds overweight (with a whole wardrobe hanging there, unused in my closet)!!!! All in all, it has my short of breath too easily… and sweating like a pig!

• I want and need to be a better friend and brother and uncle… I want to reach out to folks better and be there for them and learn more deeply what it is to love – love with His love!

• I want and need humility. I want to harness that “want” in me which seeks attention. I don’t always have to talk. I don’t always have to go for the joke or the laugh to draw attention to myself. I need to learn the art of silence… and really listening to the other – including the Other which is God!

And amidst it all, I want and need you, out there – friends, family, brothers and sisters in the Faith… I need and want you all to pray for me… and even hold my feet to the fire. I need your encouragement. I need you to question me – when, say, I reach for that second cup of coke. I need you to know that I want to be better – better for myself, better for you, better for God. I need and want you to be patient with me… and accept me when I fail.

I need and want balance in this walk… and I need and want Companions on these tight rope journeys called life and Christianity!

Joy Journal

In my 13 years of post-high school schooling, two papers particularly stand out in my memory. Both achieved marks of “D.” Both were tremendously helpful as learning devices.

The first paper (not a real focus here) was in Freshman English at A & M. Perhaps its biggest lesson was emotional or spiritual: a certain humbling of the boy who thought he knew it all. Yes, I learned to write (or, at least, advance in writing) that first semester of college English!

The second paper (more of a focus here) taught me a lesson about and the meaning of being “critical.” A “critical review” of a book in Christian History book at seminary had me tearing the book apart for all its weaknesses… and the flaws I saw. Isn’t that the nature of being critical after all?! You know, like criticism?!

Problem is, I soon learned (with “D” in hand), that “critical” (at least in “critical review”) implies a balanced effort to analyze weaknesses, yes, but also to affirm strengths!

It’s a lesson that has had meaning throughout the years – even unto today: the importance of seeing not just the “original sin” in the world but also the “original goodness,” as well!

It’s the basis of encouraging staff around the church to keep a joy journal – a daily catalog of all that is good and right and “worthy of praise” in our lives and world… a counterbalance to all the stresses and negatives that can come our way (because we do live in a fallen world).

Admittedly, I waver and wane on this discipline (as I do with most of my spiritual disciplines). In the wake of the last blog, though ( a blog which I continue to struggle with… but, for whatever reasons, do not want to erase),… In the wake of the last blog, I feel inclined to count my blessings. (It’s got to be a great concept! I mean, it’s not only a great hymn but there’s Bing singing about it in “White Christmas!”)

And so, just to get the ball rolling on this Monday morning and this new week, I take a minute or two to recall my blessings and joys in life…

1. a loving wife and companion
2. healthy children who are going through the normal throes of trying to figure out who they are
3. the means and the place in which to finally get a home
4. my health (though I need help here!)
5. a very loving congregation… and a committed core of church leaders
6. a “livable forest” which, in so many ways… at so many turns, has me feeling God’s presence
7. a call and a reason and a vision and a purpose in life
8. good (and meaningful) books and movies
9. a very loving extended family… I know that they’ll always be there for me!
10. a string of very dear friends which span the years and the communities in which we’ve lived – friends as dear and as close as family
11. a devoted companion in Toby (the wonder dog)!

Yes, it’s only a start. But, it’s enough to get me on the right path!

For it’s true: if you’re going to “make the grade” in life and living, you’ve got to learn the art of looking at both sides!